Before you think I’m being snarky or elitist, or encouraging negative feelings about running, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I’ve heard some version of “I’m a failure” from so many people over the years, and even felt it myself a few times.
This blog is going to explore that feeling and my hope is that I can provide you with a different way to look at things.
Ditch the cheesy catchphrases
“You’re lapping everyone on the couch”. Yes you are, but you’re putting in effort, time and money when they aren’t so that’s hardly a high bar or a fair judgement of people who choose not to run.
This kind of phrase is so prevalent in our social media heavy world, but like so many others, it offers little actual help. Ultimately, the fact that you feel like a failure with regards to your running is almost certainly a much deeper trend in your psychology and/or a reflection of what else perhaps isn’t going the way you want in your life.
I hate to say it, but don’t plaster it on your Strava runs. Speak to someone you can trust, either a friend/relative or professional. If it’s a genuine issue and you feel rubbish, chances are all the nice things people say make you feel worse, like an undeserving fraud.
What else is going on
I’ve been there in the past when work or relationships weren’t going so well, so I ran to cope with that in some way. In my teens and early twenties I often ran full of anger directed at other people, or on many occasions, myself. These weren’t good runs because I still expected the same result as I would from more deliberate and composed training.
Running can be a great way to release stress and negative emotions at times, but with these runs don’t even bother looking at your watch, just run how you feel. The last thing you need when you want to let go of control is to be trying to pace things perfectly or hit certain split times.
Consider your sleep, general life stress, diet and hydration as well. All of these things will impact your training, so if running isn’t going how you want, see if there’s a reason. Try not to berate yourself, there’s a difference between reasons and excuses.
Perspective
I’ve said and written it a million times. Running isn’t and shouldn’t be the be all and end all. We’re not professional athletes, this is a hobby and there to be enjoyed. Although there may be times we’re a bit selfish in our choices (and that’s ok every once in a while), we can’t prioritise training over relationships and work if we’re going to maintain a balanced life.
Even pro’s have ups and downs in training, so we’re bound to have lower and more frequent lows, as well as less frequent and smaller highs. Having a bit of a lull in training doesn’t make you a failure, it’s an inevitability that you have to accept if you’re ever going to fully enjoy running.
Reframe it
Every “failure” can be viewed as one of two things. 1) a sign that you’re rubbish and should give up or 2) a sign that something didn’t go right somewhere.
I implore you to pick option 2. Look at it as an opportunity to learn and grow. That doesn’t necessarily mean training more or harder, it could be that what’s needed to get you to your goal actually isn’t worth it. Changing your goal to be less challenging can sometimes be the right option, and always is if training more is or would make you unhappy or won’t bring you a worthwhile benefit in the long term.
Just because your running might not be going to plan right now, you’re not a failure. You’re so much more than training run paces and race times.
Written by Kyle Brooks, Running Coach based in Norwich, Norfolk